Animal of Bitch and Animal
So, this is another story of people who do it right. When I was like 18, I loved (and still like) a two-woman band called Bitch and Animal.
I had all their music and listened to them all the time (which probably drove my parents crazy). They played shows in my city a few times and of course, like any rabid fan, I went. The shows were usually in a tiny club or whatever. One thing you should know is I'm not shy so when the show was over, I literally knocked over chairs to go meet them with my aide cracking up following me. When I got Animal's attention (and when my aide caught up with me) my aide said "This is Eva and she really wants to meet you." Now in retrospect, I had no idea how Animal would react (would she baby talk me, get freaked out, or what?). I was so excited to meet her that this was the last thing on my mind when I plowed my way over. But she excitedly said "Hey Eva, nice to meet you. Did you like the show?," and WAITED for me to nod or shake my head. We chatted for a few minutes, each time she phrased the question in a 'yes' or 'no' style. My aide just stood there because she was not needed. There was no need for my aide to even explain me not talking.
You might be thinking "So what?" But for me this was a really big deal to meet someone (let alone someone I was a big fan of) that was so comfortable and casual right off the bat. 99% of the people I meet for the first time have at least some hesitation with me and my aides have to explain why I don't talk back etc. Explaining is obviously not a big deal but its sooooo nice to meet that 1% that just get it! Its like you have to tell your whole life story to everyone you meet in one sentence. Let me be clear; I don't expect anyone to "just know". Asking is always good. Its just really cool when someone doesn't have to ask.
Animal and I are still friends and I'm sure it was partly because of this encounter.
I have never heard of that musical group, but that is really cool to hear that there are people who have it together like that. Good for her. I like your "people who got it right" series. It's a nice balance with the other videos.
ReplyDeleteWould you mind explaining why you don't (want) to use a dynavox-type speech device? I know it a personal choice but it seems very limiting (for both sides of the conversation) to only be able to respond yes or no.
ReplyDeleteEnjoying your blog, your writing, your sense of humor, and the endless education possibilities. Thank you for being so open, because the last thing I want to do (as a person with "invisible illnesses") is to insult someone because I don't know what to say or do.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog (actually a friend sent me the link) and you have a great writing style. I happened to start reading it while I was thinking about something curious that happened yesterday. I was chatting with someone who asked me about my children. I said I had two daughters and told this individual a little about both of them. The response was "oh, just like me, I have two daughters (slight pause) and a son with autism." I still don't quite know what to think about it.
ReplyDeleteThat is so awesome that the interaction was so comfortable!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the "people who got it right" part of your blog also. It's good to know. :D
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog as well, (via Cara at The Curvature) and I think it's brilliant. I've always felt mildly uncomfortable around people with disabilities and have for a few years been searching for opportunities to work on improving this. I know my uneasiness is just unfamiliarity but I've been hesitant to jump in the deep end for fear of offending someone by not knowing how to behave. This blog is a perfect diving board, thank you for sharing your experiences!
ReplyDeleteI mentioned your blog here:
ReplyDeletehttp://a-lady-sniper.blogspot.com/2009/10/blog-post.html
That's so great to hear. I too was a big Bitch and Animal fan, and it's great to know that Animal was just as cool in person as you would hope. I had the hugest crush on her throughout high school.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog as well. The thoughts you share have really made me think about the way people judge so much by appearance, when that doesn't tell the whole story. Please keep sharing!
Hey, I just stumbled across your blog today and wanted to thank you for writing it! You are a gifted writer, and I really enjoy your blog. I don't know anyone with a disability like yours, and it is really wonderful to read your insights. Now I know a little more about what it's like, and hope I can be a "person who gets it right" whenever I have the chance. thank you!
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