"Let's go talk to patio furniture"

So before I tell you this story let me be clear- I have had lots of aides who didn't work out for whatever reason- our personalities didn't mesh, they were not reliable, they couldn't physically transfer me, etc. This is all fine and I don't take offense when people don't work out. This particular time, the aide had been working out great for six months until she began to do rather odd stuff. I make random noises and they don't mean anything. Wanda thought she understood what I was "saying". We used to have whole "conversations" where I would not have a clue what we were talking about because Wanda would just reply to my noises. Like "Eva, I don't agree..." So that was fun.

One day Wanda refused to assist me in the bathroom and gave no explanation why. I was in class (college) so it was not like I had my mom there and none of my friends knew how to transfer me (why would they?). So there I was at lunch, needing to pee but my aide refusing. So I had to ask one of my friends. My aide wouldn't even help explain how to transfer me or do anything else. I had to eyespell how to do everything to my poor friend. Here is a demo of how eyespelling works:


So THAT was fun. But we managed to do it.


Another lovely Wanda story was the time she made me skip class so she could go talk to patio furniture. Let me explain: Wanda could talk to furniture and furniture would talk back. I didn't want to go with her but my "noises" told otherwise. So when my school called my parents saying "Eva was not in class today" that was fun to explain. Unfortunately it was April and school was out in June so it would have been really hard to hire a new person without my life/classes getting messed up. Nice person but did not work out as an aide. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this Wanda story.