So I finally have a video! Here it is:
Let me first say that my problem with this is not about religion. The thing that bugs me is that she only blessed me because I am a "poor disabled girl". I guarantee if I was not visibly disabled, she would not have said anything. She didn't bless my aide. This blessing makes disability a "bad" thing. She definitely thought I was miserable because I am disabled. It reminds me of the last comment the waitress made- "I want you to feel better." Both comments make disability something you need to cure rather than just diversity.
I don't yell at these kinds of people because they think they are doing something nice. Honestly, they probably wouldn't understand if I told them. I don't feel like it' s my responsibility to educate every person. If people ask questions I will certainly answer but I don't seek out opportunities for education.
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I'm transgender, and people I've barely met energetically wish me luck when they find out. For instance, I recently had to out myself to a secretary when doing legal paperwork, and when I left ALL the secretaries waved goodbye and wished me well.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty bemusing, but in my case I think it makes more sense -- people wish me luck in dealing with legal hurdles and prejudice (and it's better than getting hostile stares). They aren't wishing that I could change, which is what people seem to say to you.
I would bless you too. The way I see it is.. like.. If I found out someone needed glasses - I would certainly hope they could get those glasses/whatever else to see. It's just wishing a good quality of life for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd the voice sounds older? So if it's from someone of an older generation... A lot of technology that makes having a disibility less stressful is rather new, so the pity(?) there would make sense as it's still kind of a new concept that your life isn't automatically bad because of this.
Can you better explain the "diversity"? Is there a sub-culture?
-Not intentionally offensive.
To my absolute horror, I recently found out my mom was saying this to other wheelchair users. I had to explain to her why that was offensive. She felt empathy and knows better than most what it's like, but golly, mom...
ReplyDeleteTo clarify, my mom is not a wheelchair user--I meant she says this to wheelchair users other than me.
ReplyDeleteI find that it's mostly little old ladies (mostly Hispanic) who do this to me. I don't mind it from them, as it's a generational, religious, and cultural thing for them. Now, if it's not a senior citizen who does this (esp. after they find out I'm gay), then I know it's meant to bless the 'sin' away. That, I get pissed about.
ReplyDeleteI really think God should bless all of us more often.
ReplyDeletemostly people who wish this upon others.
(Paradox?)
o_O wow...
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's usually little old ladies who want to pray over you, lay their hands on you... one even wanted to anoint me with oil. I usually politely demur, but sometimes I indulge them when it seems politic or faster to do so.
ReplyDeleteDoes that make me a bad crip? Or perhaps I'm being condescending in humoring them.
From givesmehope.com
ReplyDelete"My brother has cerebral palsy, so growing up I spent a lot of time at appointments with him. One visit a woman ran out into the waiting room hysterical and grabbed the receptionists phone and dialed a number. She screamed "he walked, they said he'd never walk!"
So, yes. God bless you.
Anonymous, that's a great story, but telling someone something like that when you don't know their background/diagnosis/etc. can be very insensitive. For example, my girlfriend has a rather rare degenerative neuromuscular disorder, and she uses a wheelchair for mobility. I know she's been told many stories of people who have had some miraculous cure or improvement, which is awesome for the person it happened to, but barring some huge medical breakthrough, she will not be one of those people- she will continue to get worse and hopefully plateau. Now, I totally understand hopeful stories (my mom has a spinal cord injury from a car accident when she was 19 and she was told she'd never walk or have kids- they were wrong on both accounts) but they can hurt as much as they can uplift. Same goes for saying that God will heal you- maybe so (if you believe in that sort of thing) maybe not, but it's not appropriate to say if you don't know the backstory or the individual's personal beliefs. Plus, there's a ton of people who wouldn't want to be cured and resent the implication that they need to be.
ReplyDeleteI want to apologise on behalf of this person (ie the one blessing you or praying for you to be cured) because I've been this idiot too. Some people can and will grow out of it :)
ReplyDelete