Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Don't spit out Jesus Christ!

Before I tell you what my subject line means, you might notice I have books from Amazon on my page's sidebar. I chose these books because, well...they're awesome. Exile and Pride is an awesome bio/discussion of disability and gender identity. The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability is exactly what it sounds like (wink wink). And I actually know the writer of Beyond Victims and Villains. She is a disabled actor and director and has produced many plays by and about people with disabilities.

So I went back to Cleveland, Ohio for the wedding of my favorite aunt. My dad's family is cool but kind of religious. By "kind of" religious, I mean compared to me and I'm not religious at all, but not like the going to church every week type. My dad is not religious at all but he grew up in a Catholic family of 13 children. But is was a wedding and weddings are usually held in church (which is cool with me).

Anyway, I was siting up front (they had accessible seating in front) enjoying the wedding when it was time for communion. My whole family lined up while my mom, dad and I just waited in our seats.

Now I have to explain somethings. Because of my CP, my mouth is open a lot (not like widddde open, but open). And also because of my CP, my tongue sometimes also pushes out my food. Both of these things are not a huge deal and I don't even think about it normally.

So, the priest seeing that I sitting in the pew with my mouth open, just shoved in a host wafer. My dad leaned over and said "Eva, whatever you do, don't spit it out," while my grandma did a "Hallelujah!" My aunt, whose wedding it was, was cracking up because she knew I was not religious and there was a big possibility I would spit out the sacrament.

I did not spit out the wafer. But it was so funny and I have a great first communion story. The priest was not being a jerk at all, but he definitely did not give me a chance to decline. I think he just saw an open mouth and went for it. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this story.

26 comments:

  1. That is HILARIOUS. And I'm guessing that that's going to make the top 10 list of wedding stories for a while in your family - glad that everyone involved has a sense of humor about it (I don't know if I'd be as forgiving!)

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  2. "I think he just saw an open mouth and went for it" I LOL'd! xD

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  3. LOL I *knew* that's what the title meant even before I read it! I love your sense of humor when you write :)

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  4. oh and thanks for the book recommendations, I added them all to my (ever growing) wishlist! Especially, um, the first one! (chronic pain & fatigue here)

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  5. Thank you for having a sense of humor, my husband and I think it's essential to dealing with a disability but sometimes I think we are a minority.

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  6. Eva that is hysterical, thanks for sharing this story!!!!

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  7. Ha! That's fantastic... sounds very much like the Catholic priests I grew up with.

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  8. Thanks for the book suggestions! I love reading your blogs your sense of humor brightens up my day.

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  9. You are hilarious and waaaaaaaaaay more forgiving than I would be in that situation!

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  10. Ha! Great story and the title made me laugh out loud after I finished reading it.

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  11. I just read this to my wife and we're both cracking up!

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  12. Very funny, you and your Dad both.

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  13. "He just saw an open mouth and went for it" haha! Looking to save a non-Catholic, whatever it takes, I guess :)
    (I'm not religious either, and from that perspective, good on you for being polite and respectful at the wedding! Sometimes it is hard!)

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  14. "I think he just saw an open mouth and went for it" - LOL! Yep, that's a priest for you.

    And yes, I'm Catholic so I can make fun of priests. ;-)

    Danine
    www.danine.net

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  15. I'd be wary of a priest that is in the habit of seeing and open mouth and going for it.

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  16. Your Grandmother is more than a little religious. Love, Uncle Ed.

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  17. As a recovering Catholic (so am I), let me tell you a true and similar story from the bad old days ... which turn out to be not too dissimilar to these good new days.

    Preparing for first communion, we were given to try out receiving on the tongue (not that common since the 70s) with a corn flake. Of course, someone decided to take it with gusto and start chewing the corn flake.

    "No, no, no!" said the nun. "Don't chew the host, it hurts Jesus!"

    The girl who was chewing spit the cornflake out, suddenly disgusted at the idea that she had a human being in her mouth, whose bones might break and might really bleed.

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  18. EVA! I am DYING laughing! Especially picturing your family in Cleveland. It's been some years since I've seen a lot of them, but I still have a pretty clear picture. I won't take up too much room on your blog but my boyfriend and I are coming out to LA in December and I'm really hoping we can get together. I'm sending you an email soon! xoxo Erin

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  19. "Whatever you do, don't spit out the Host." That is the best quote ever.

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  20. hee!
    i have acctually been prayed over, at the furiture store *where i worked* by a customer, by a janitor at the airport when i was making a phone call... its so strange, all i can think to say is "um, thanks?"

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  21. Thanks for the post! I am very excited I found your blog and am looking forward to reading more of your experiences. I am a religious person myself, actually a youth program director at my church and I have CP. I must say that I find this story to be awesome in a couple ways. I am very interested in how disability and religion can be connected. It is my opinion that a lot of times, us with disabilities are seen by religious leaders as being in need of more grace, religion, faith, healing...etc. If your situation is like mine, people have attempted to heal you, prayed over you, and in this case forced a communion wafer. You bring up an interesting point that I really needed to see. Understanding that people with disabilities can think for themselves academically is one thing, but you bring up an excellent point, that we can also think for ourselves spiritually and have the right to choose whether or not to be connected to some form of religion. Being a "church go-er" all my life, I never really considered a different side of the story. Thanks for the fresh prospective! Also, one of my passions is accessibility in religious institutions, especially in smaller ones. I was impressed to see that this particular one had accessible seating. That is exciting to me, but the fact that the Priest "forced" the waver, not so much. One thing I have learned is that you have to find humor in every situation. Kudos to you and I look forward to more posts.

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  22. Haha Congrats on your 1st Commununion! You rock Eva!

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